Sunday, August 7, 2016

Women story on dating with herpes

Dating sucks. But dating when you have herpes sucks way more.

Because I know you’re going to ask, I’ll just say that I trusted a guy more than I should have and believed he was faithful to me when he wasn’t. A broken heart is bad enough, but I got a broken heart and genital sores to remember him by.

I was 25 when I found out. I’m 30 now. After my ex and I split up, one day I started feeling what I thought were symptoms of a UTI. I used to get really bad UTIs, so I called my doctor and was able to get an appointment with her the next day. But I was in so much pain that I knew something else was amiss. Drinking water and cranberry juice didn’t help. They just made it worse. Then my doctor told me what was wrong: I had lesions on my vagina. It wasn’t a UTI, it was genital herpes.
When I learned I had been diagnosed with gential herpes, I couldn’t stop crying. I thought my life was over. My doctor was really patient with me and explained that about one in six sexually active Americans have HSV-2. An even larger portion of the population — 80% to 90% — have the virus for oral herpes, but some people never have symptoms and never know. That made feel less alone. There are two kinds of herpes, oral and genital. I thought that since I didn’t have cold sores I couldn’t have herpes, but my doctor explained how herpes virus type 2 (HSV-2) only shows on the sex organs.
I spent some time educating myself about genital herpes — and healing my broken heart. When I finally felt ready to get back out into the dating world, I dreaded broaching that conversation with guys. I even considered getting back together with my ex just because it meant I wouldn’t have to tell other men about herpes or worry about someone else getting it from me. (I’m glad I didn’t get back with him, for obvious reasons.)
Telling guys that I have herpes doesn’t get easier as time goes on, even though I have the conversation down cold. Since I don’t have oral herpes, I can kiss guys without a problem and don’t have to worry about cold sores on my face. But once things start getting physical, I have to bring it up. 
Nothing kills a mood like saying “By the way, I have an incurable STD,” believe me. Some men have reacted by freaking out and leaving; of course I understand why they’re bugging out, but that response also makes me feel like I’m a monster. Although, to be honest, if my ex had told me he had herpes (he didn’t even know he had it until I called him crying from my doctor’s office), I probably would have run out of the room, too. I wasn’t very mature when we went out and I don’t think I could have handled a responsible conversation about it.
Nothing kills a mood like saying “By the way, I have an incurable STD,” believe me.
There are some men, though, who are really cool and respectful when I tell them I have herpes and want to talk about it. We always go over our options for how we can be safe: I use a male or female condom every single time for intercourse, dental dams for oral sex, and I make sure the guy washes his hand if he puts his fingers in me or gets vaginal fluid on him.
Overall, older guys are way better about this stuff: Some of them have had other STDs in the past and are understanding about the whole thing, and they’re better educated about sex in general. I have some websites saved on my computer and we can look at them together; I also always keep condoms around because it shouldn’t have to be the man’s responsibility every time. One guy even had herpes himself, which was pretty cool because we could be intimate and not have that ever-present worry about not passing it to our partner.
But to be honest, even with protection, I’m never 100 percent at ease. Every time a guy has sex with me, even if we’re in a relationship and have good communication, I think in the back of my head that he’s not committing 100 percent because he’s too worried about getting herpes from me.
As controversial as it may sound, I think it’s more socially acceptable to have HIV/AIDS than to have herpes. Think about it: many celebrities speak out publicly about being HIV+ and they’re applauded for being brave, which they are. But it’s not the same with herpes, which carries stigmas about being “dirty.” No one speaks out publicly about having herpes. Blogs like to make jokes about Paris Hilton having “the herp” and needing to take her Valtrex — basically calling her skanky, gross and stupid. Herpes has nothing to do with promiscuity, though: You can get herpes if you’ve slept with one person or with a hundred. Yet there’s something about herpes that everybody thinks is really funny. I guess because AIDS can kill you, it’s not so funny. But herpes just makes you get warts or sores sometimes, so it’s OK to laugh at people who suffer from it. I probably laughed at some of those jokes, too, before I had herpes. I wish everyone was more considerate about all sexually transmitted diseases, because, trust me, no one asked to contract one.
I can say from years of experience that the physical aspect of herpes are not a big deal as long as you take care of yourself properly. You won’t die from it. You can’t get it from accidentally using my toothbrush or from sharing a Coke with me. I’m not gross or a freak or a slut (nor is anyone else who has or had an STD). I’m just a person who made a mistake when I was younger and is stuck dealing with the consequences for the rest of my life. Luckily, I don’t have a bad case of it. I don’t have to take a daily medicine like Valtrex and I haven’t had an outbreak in years. The only time I really have to think about herpes is when I start dating someone. The rest of the time I just go about my business. Herpes affects my life, but I’m way, way more than my STD.


5 comments:

  1. ATTENTION PLEASE, Am so glad expressing my profound gratitude to a man that is so concerned about other people's well being. I was suffering from (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) over 2years, i have spent thousands of dollars in buying expensive drugs and visiting several hospitals in different countries, i was really in sevael pain "until" one glorious morning, i read about Dr.Aziza on the internet on how he had helped and cured so many people suffering from HERPES 1$2, HPV, CANCER, HIV/AIDS, ALZHEIMER, FIBROID, ENLARGED PROSTATE, HEMORRHOIDS' PILE and HEART DISEASE ETC. So i contacted him through this Email: drazizahealthcare@gmail.com and i shared my problems with him, he gave me the healing procedure and i followed them. Two weeks later he told me to go for a medical test, behold the result was negative, now am (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) free. I just want to use this platform to thank Dr.Aziza for curing me from that deadly virus and also for exposing his herbal cure to the world, please you can as well contact him at drazizahealthcare@gmail.com (or) visit his website https://drazizahealthcare.wordpress.com for solutions to your health problems...Thanks.

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    1. I am deeply concerned about the still increase in population of people living with HSV, HIV, CANCERS, HEPATITIS, STROKES in our society today because of ignorance, to be Frank all this big names are grammars. I saw comments of people DR UTU helped get rid of their diseases, with the increase in population of people living with various diseases and myself as a beneficiary to DR UTU traditional cure I tot I too should reach the world via comment. Many People believed traditional herbs are so primitive and some are even shy to purchase it in public. Some went as far as trashing the legendary name of herbal medicine hiding its numerous advantages and let publicly it disadvantage and yet makes it look big, all this are just for pharmaceutical gain. All pharmaceutical cure are derived from existing traditional herbal cure from ages.
      Yes! I'm here to tell the world the actual FACT! which is; there is herbal cure for herpes, Ebola, HIV, cancers, hepatitis, ulcers, asthma, pile, diabetes and many big names of diseases. all my career I've lived my life believing and making research on this, till I confirmed it four years ago. Since four years ago and till today I still say yes! That among many real traditional herbalist Dr Nze Utu Njoku @ (drutuherbalcure) cures this diseases using African traditional herbs. After he cured me four years ago of genital herpes, ever since then I worked with him distance never a barrier, I'm a living witness to this. And I have directed both genital and oral herpes patients to him and they are permanently cured. I'm Ethan Oliver from Australia and also a herbal dealer and lover. I'm also a researcher on herbs for good health. Which also include Africa traditional herbal treatment, I support Herbal treatment, cure and vaccines. My view is based on my extensive research over a very long period of time, and my conclusion is, there is cure to all natural diseases including HSV, HIV, CANCERS, DIABETES, using the right medications with the right herbalist. Are you herpes positive and permanently want get rid of this disease or any of this big name diseases don't be scared to save yourself, contact Dr Utu for permanent herbal cure. Be bold and smart Don't be fooled by selfish people who say, cure is impossible.
      Dr UTU e-mail , 'drutuherbalcure@gmail.com'

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  2. My boyfriend and I met three years ago on herpes dating site so we discovered we are +ve from the beginning of our relationship, that we both had genital herpes. My first outbreak was the ABSOLUTE worst experience, I was so sick. We suffered for one year plus, had constant outbreaks and then finally we decided to both respectively take Dr Utu African Traditional Herbs as advised by friends. His herb is Not much bitter or sour taste.
    Dosage two times daily every day for four weeks, and honest to goodness it was a miraculous herbs. We were on it for not more than two weeks when we noticed total change. 'couldn't wait for four weeks. It was third week and five days we used the herbs. Then we went for test and was already hsv2 negative, the both of us. Neither of us have had any lesion, outbreak or symptoms till date.
    For traditional and permanent hsv cure, Contact him on drutuherbalcure@gmail.com or direct WhatsApp or phone +2347032718477

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  3. Herpes Finally Gone, thanks to Dr. Utu for his Herbal Treatment.
    I had a sudden onset of cold sores and a new one was appearing each day. I'm on primary immunosuppressant I noticed my body just can't fight the virus on its own. After five days of treatment and no success I suspected herpes I went for test and it was confirmed. God was my strength I met a doctor for treatment. He gave me Dr Utu's contact. I contacted him immediately, This medication was far amazing that within 24-48 hrs the blisters were crusting over. The swelling and redness was decreasing as well. I was on four weeks herpes medication which I completed before going for test. I went for herpes test and then again back to my doctor who confirmed me herpes negative it was really like a dream. What a relief! Feel Free to contact Dr Utu WhatsApp :- +2347032718477

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  4. I THINK IT'S RIGHT TIME YOU TRY HERBAL MEDICINE!!!
    I world is enough for a wise. I'm john chamber from New South Wales, Australia. I was an Herpes patient for 2years ,i suffered a great lost in applying medical treatment to get cure from the virus the blisters keeps reoccurring on me. It was too scaring having does sleepless nights with Herpes. I went through many hospitals seeking for the solution to my cure all my efforts where rendered useless. I was so frustrated, and lost my lovely wife along the line due to the bad effects of her virus. I became so ashamed of myself. I decided to check on the internet if there could be any possible remedy to this dangerous virus . Then,I came across lots of comments about Dr. Akpu's Herbs cure who's patience have recommended him of his Good work,testifying how his medicine saved their lives, and there have been living happily negative of the Herpes virus. I thought and believe I could be cure as well. Then,I decided to give it a try. To my greatest surprise after contacting the Dr.,I was very happy in our first chat and I believe in everything he said. He really proved to me after going through lots of pics and videos with his patients. I then ordered for his medicine , he prepared and sent it through the DHL service...it was like a jock,but now a dream come through that I'm Herpes free, I have recently been confirmed HSV negative. All thanks to God for showing me the way to Dr Akpu the great and powerful herbalist, the best herbalist, with understanding and genuine in his works.
    He cures all diseases/virus. Including HIV/AIDS, TYPHOID,WEEK ERECTION, LOW SPAM COUNT,INFERTILITY ,DIABETES ,SYPHILIS, HEPATITIS, CANCER,KIDNEY FAILURE/DISEASES, STROKE, And much more......
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